Y .Friday, December 09, 2005.
Sian ar sian. hmm. todae.. super early release. no lab for org chem this week. supposed to end lsn at 11am. den we pon computer and IT lec. so went home at 10am. cos the lecture is like damn wu liaoZ lar. and it's like.. seriously no pt to go since we are nt even listening. hmmm. the old old teacher, got the veri veri kind face de. in his 60s, talk in a manner which humuor everyone with his unique wae of speaking. cos he can't pronnouce properly. I agree with what sharon said, he's lk waiting for retirement. lolx. the guys were doing pull-ups outside the lecture hall jus now. kinda surprised by sum of them. hmm. yuan xiong can do, but he from NS de, so should be quite fit de lor. Den.. adrian did 10 easily. Junhao did with him. to mi.. it's a WOW! haha... cos junhao so skinny.. like.. i expected him to be like. less fit lar. haha.. i noe i bad. but i'm impressed.realli. hehex..
Badly wanted to watch Perhaps love by takeshi. and i was like asking ard ... and seems like no one wants to watch. at least nt todae. and all of them have their own plans, except mi and celine. Celine. todae.. tink she realli come in beach wear lor. haha.. shorts and slippers. den cannt go town. so.. went home lor.. since everyone is like.. nt free. hmmm. I am so damn bored! hmmm. it's nt like.. i got nth to do lar. it's just that. been like.. 3 daes. all early release.. den everydae come home lei. i want to watch movie.. but seems like.. they all so busi lor. i miss the daes where i can meet hweeteng and may lor. it's like.. now.. i feel so drifted.. from everyone lei. mayb i'm the one hu is drifting away. but.. i'm feeling so lost. so insecure. Sumtimes when i realli want to tok to sumone, i dun noe hu i can turn to alreadi. As in, i do noe that if i realli call may or hweeteng right, they will listen lar. but seems lk they are alreadi occupied with enuff probs of their own, so i guess i wun bother them with mine. i dun have any particular big prob.. mayb it's jus mi being the problem. i dun noe. Last few weeks when i was like realli fed up with skye and everyting, i call em'.. oso like.. funni lor. cos in the 1st place, they are nt in my sch mah.. so it's like.. outta pt lar. hmmm. den jackson. hmmm. in camp. y everyone in camp de. and it's nt jus em' bah. it's lk everyone lor. hmmm. fishing gang, i oso feel.. so drifted. and like what i said b4. it's my fault. actualli, for everyting, i onli have myself to blame i guess. So nowdaes, i'm like.. seeking companion from my computer.. blog, find songs, chat.. hmm even chatting online limits to onli some ppl. ysd.. com and IT, the teacher went thru our topic.. i did on suicide. the teacher din even open the document,see the tittle onli.. he was like.. =S.. and the main ting is.. he thot i'm being suicidal here. den asked mi to go to churchwith him in sundae. dumb lei. hmmm. den ask the class to pay more attention to mi. bleh.
Den ysd, junhao msg mi sae that my nick sounds veri sad. i tink he's the onli one hu actualli noticed bah. den ask mi if i'm okay. pretty touched.. hmmm. den chat chat.. hmmm. dun care what they sae abt him n mi lar. we are jus gd sistas. hmm. for mi, tt's the limit. and isaiah was pretty nice abt it too. asked if i'm okay cos i looked sad. hmmm. these are ppl hu actualli.. sense that smt is wrong.. when they dun see my smiling face. i dun noe ar. i'm nt seeking any attention. but felt so neglected these daes.. and suddenly these 2 ppl let mi felt that.. concerned for once. hmmm.
有时候。。觉得自己很失败