Y .Wednesday, March 15, 2006.
Another exhausted dae. totalli drained out. work12-9 todae. hmmm.
Feel like killing that china girl le. it is realli testing my tolerance my patience and my temper. Phew~ Spent so much energy controlling my temper. to tok to her. it's like realli doing station B all the wae todae. got customer asked if i always go gym. cos.. they saw how heavy the tray is.. the 2 managers are okay.. at least for now. i learn how to not judge ppl alreadi. Jus accept tings as it is. in no position to make comments.
WOnder if the tireness tt's making mi feel so down. Been thinking a lot. Ah xiong kept singing lor.. Chi Xin jue dui. haish.brought back a lot of sad memories lei. hmmm. Right now... argh.. Dun noe how to sae sia. It's like.. So much for all the denial. I tried so hard.. to convince myself.. but seems like.. sometings.. i can't even pass my ownself. haish. Kept telling myself NO NO NO and NO. jus.. frenZ. nth much. till tt dae. tok to celine.. she was like. u urself reali go tink it thru lor. haish.. she made mi realiZe someting i have been trying to avoid. Haish. guess it doesnt feel gd lying to oneself oso bah. It's nt my fault to like someone right? i can't help it. it's against my own wishes. moreover, i din put any thoughts for aniting else. I jus want to be gd frenZ. nth else. I noe my own limits. I'm not his type. I noe. Celine asked to go for what i realli want. my own happiness. this is not jus abt self confidence. I admit. i dun have the self confidence to do that. but.. i'm jus not the kind of girl he would like. and the fact is.. i dare sae he's the kind of guy most girls will want. Tried to console myself that.. liking someone is nothing wrong. bleh. HOw mani times did this happen.. it's like the lyrics of the song.. the person u like won't appear, but the one hu appear, u dun like. since dun noe when lar. i always fall for the wrong person. since.. dun noe when.. i always fall for ppl hu falls for my best fren.. or ppl ard mi.. Bleh.. right now, i dun noe y i am bloggin all these here. but i reali need to get this outta my chest. frankly speaking.. nt mani ppl noe my blog addy. those hu noe.. shows that i trust u.. and.. everyting is like.. right from my heart. so jus keep to urself k..
bleh.. so much of tings on my mind now. Sumtimes.. feel so taken for granted. bleh. As a continuation to my previous entry.. where are my friends.. tired to cal ppl up todae.. hWeeteng on attachment still. i reali miss her a lot lei. like.. i got so much tings to tell her.. i need her advice for so much of tings. but cos.. we so long nv tok le. if i call her or what..oso dun noe how to start. Same goes for may. So so long, everytime i realli feel so alone, realli seems like.. there's no one i can turn to.... I may be like.. laughing a lot. but hu noes what's behind the smiles... esp work.. see customer.. SMILE. service emphasis.. as time goes on, tings are like.. numb alreadi. SMiling to mi.. has become a cheek excercise. it onli takes 3 cheek muscles to smile.
SO happi to hear from kelvin ysd.. like real long nv hear from him le.. haish.. i realli miss kelvin a lot lei.. like.. my listening ear. i will nv forget the times that he stood by mi.. listen to mi nag, or cry.. So touched lor.. for a guy summore. he's the best guy fren i would ever have.
feel so screwed..